Why did the animal kick my head and shit in my mouth while I was sleeping?

Because I let shit out of my mouth before I slept. A.k.a - I'm a bitch. Period.

Another essay in the hope I understand the shit I do and the thought of public humiliation by my own hands might just stop me the next time around. But even before I begin, I know deep down this is just a narcissistic effort at proving myself 'funny' - to myself. If I were to be a little more inclined at proving - to myself - that I am rather 'witty' and 'intellectual', I'd say writing things down helps me sort my own thoughts. Why then do I not stash it in that Secret Folder, for it to never see the light of the day? Well as I've been telling a couple of friends recently - have it, flaunt it. Although, what I 'have' is of course a question that cannot be simply answered.

So, here goes nothing...

There's no 'cryptic' way of putting this - I suck at keeping my mouth shut about things I really have no business talking about, if my 'intuition' or 'vibes' or whatever shit tell me that I am a 'stakeholder' in the matter, even in the most meaningless sense of the word.

So, to begin with, my resolve is weak. Add to that some alcohol and shit forgets which end of the digestive system it's supposed to come out of :P And then I ask myself - really? Why the FUCK would you do that???

And when the person on the receiving end of my verbal diarrhea is not-so-dumb or bitchy... Ughhh! Why why whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

The bestest part of course is this: I hate clarifying myself. There is no 'taking back', but different people understand the same words differently... Do I clarify in the hope that the damage would be lessened? Nope. No no no no no............................ What if my brain was playing games with me, then what? Huh???

:P

It is a necessary condition for this post to be taken with a pinch of salt. Or a whole truckload. preferably after a few tequila shots.